Why Divorce Happens:�In my previous article I described the Incompatibility myth. Here, I will briefly consider some of the reasons for the myth. Simply put, why some persons often disguise their selfish interests for divorce by hammering on the word “incompatibility”.

Why Divorce Happens:

Laziness

Couples are often too lazy and unwilling to pay the prize to work out their “incompatibilities”. They are look for the easy way out – divorce. The saying that you don’t know your spouse until you marry him/her is true to a certain degree.

Intolerance

Although the word “tolerance” is peddled a lot, many couples find it hard to tolerate each other’s incompatibilities. Yes, your spouse can’t do something the way you want it; or she’s finding it hard to relate with your kind of person? These are not irreconcilable differences. They are incompatibilities that can be reconciled by tolerating your spouse, and probably helping him/her to meet up with your standard. Intolerance of incompatibilities in others is indeed a sign of weakness in ours. What about the strengths of your spouse? Why not build on that.

Lack of Endurance

A couple who lacks the endurance and patience to bear with each other’s squabbles are like the proverbial man with the beam in his eyes who goes about seeking out the speck in another man’ eye. If you want your spouse to endure and take you for who you are and how you are, then you must do the same to him/her.

Short Courtship

This is a major culprit of the incompatibility myth. After a while in the marriage, a spouse begins to realise to his/her dismay that he really didn’t know this man/woman before they got married. Perhaps he/she is quick tempered, carefree etc. The truth is, when you marry someone that you don’t’ know much about, there are many things that you would discover about the person when you get married. Under such circumstances, the problem is not incompatibility, but surprise at having to meet different traits of the person which you never met while courting. Unfortunately, and more often than not, when this scenario plays out, as it often does, many people cry “incompatible”, and begin to blame short courtship for their failures.

In conclusion, incompatibility is a myth when peddled by couples in marriage and used as a reason for divorce. A couple will not always believe in the same thing. This should not be a ground for divorce. A legally refined term for incompatibility is “irreconcilable differences”; and this is the general ground for a no-fault divorce. This ground is not tenable in Nigeria. And rightly so.

Articles on this site are meant to provide general knowledge on divorce law in Nigeria and do not, by any means, substitute for proper consultation with legal experts.�Need help? Go Here!