Causes of Divorce: Many couples get divorced today because they suddenly realized that they were not compatible with their spouses. Unlike Western countries, this is a fairly new concept in Nigeria. The typical Nigerian culture knows no such thing as incompatibility in marriages. Nevertheless, due to the influence of western culture, this mindset is starting to pervade the Nigerian culture, particular the younger generation. However, so much can be hidden under the term “incompatibility” to becloud the real selfish reasons of a spouse for divorce.
What does it mean for a thing to be incompatible?
To be incompatible means that two things or two persons cannot coexist or live harmoniously. For instance, a Mercedes Benz car would be incompatible with a Toyota spare part, simply because they are not from the same maker. Likewise, a computer software built for a Windows 10 operating system would be incompatible with a Windows 8 operating system.
With respect to humans, a person is said to be incompatible with another when they have differing characters or views about life. When spouses differ considerably in their views and perceptions to life, they are said to not be in harmony with each other. However, the fact that a married couple have differing views or characters should not automatically lead to a divorce. This is because the realm of marriage cannot be limited to our personal inclinations, feelings or differences.
The solution to the incompatibility myth is a proper understanding of Marriage and marital bliss. What is marriage? And how can one attain marital bliss?
Marriage, properly defined, is a covenant of oaths between one man and one woman to live together for the benefit of each other. A covenant, simply defined, is an oath-based agreement between two persons to live together under certain terms. Thus, if marriage is a covenant, what should dictate the tone of the marriage is not the personal inclinations, characters, differences or views of the spouses, but the terms of the covenant. When a couple abides by the terms of the covenant, they will have marital bliss.
From the biblical stand point, a marriage covenant has five parts, namely:
- God is the creator of marriage;
- The Husband has authority over the wife;
- There are Ethics or Rules of that the couple must live by;
- There are Sanctions for disobeying the rules;
- Blessings for obeying the rules.
For an extensive discussion on the covenantal status of marriage, see Ray Sutton’s book, Second Chance: Biblical Blueprints for Divorce and Remarriage.The book is available for free download here.
The ethics, rules or terms are the heart of the marriage covenant. And it is there that marriages often suffer it. Issues of incompatibility often stem from our personal inclinations, but when couples put their personal idiosyncrasies before the terms, they find out that their views and personal lifestyles are quite different. Of a truth, there are no two same human beings on the earth today with the same views and personalities to life.
Therefore, a couple should aim at seeking to satisfy the terms of the covenant not their personal views. This would curb the onslaught of marriages by the incompatibility myth.
Articles on this site are meant to provide general knowledge on divorce law in Nigeria and do not, by any means, substitute for proper consultation with legal experts. Need help? Go Here!
Causes of Divorce:
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